Voyeurs and The Movie (A Short Story)

“Voyeurs and The Movie”

Mark Stegman

Harold and Vuade are voyeurs. There is nothing that they would rather do than to get dress to the nines and go out onto the sidewalks of suburbia and watch people going about their business in their homes. They do not trespass or go onto any ones property and they have never been caught, until today. They dress nice and openly admire houses so that other nicely dressed people think that they are admiring their fine house from the sidewalk. Enough information can be construed just from seeing a couple of scenes inside a dining room or living room, or perhaps a bedroom. The style and type of a house, location of city, décor of the interior and drapes, combine with how the people look and what they are doing too offer Harold and Vaude a pretty good idea of who people are and what society is all about.

We meet Harold and Vaude as they merrily walk the nighttime streets of suburban Portland, Oregon. “Vancie” as some people call her, (actually, only her one other friend other than Harold, “what’s her face”, calls her that.) Harold calls her V.

“V is for Voyeur”. He says. V and Harold are out on the town,

“doin some wathchin”. Vaude would say, “hey Harold, wanna do some watchin tonight?” Or she would take the bus up to Harold’s workplace, “The Back Words Movie Theatre” on 76 St. and say “Hey Harold, wathcya doin? Wanna watchin worlds?” She would ask him leaning over the counter of the concession stands offering five dollar sodas and buckets of salted butter pop corns. Harold thinks that she is a very funny and amazingly mature sixteen year old and doesn’t care when anyone says he, at 19, should or should not be hanging out with the likes a Vaude. They are best of friends and have been all their lives.

Harold was always down to go out “watchin” the town. He would always say, “Watchya think, I like to watch, so what!” And things like, “We can learn a real lesson from other peoples mistakes,” or some other maxim that he made up on the spot. V thinks Harold has become a cunning young man. She especially likes how he is sharp and quick witted yet humble and mostly quiet.

Tonight Vaude is dressed in a peculiar twenties style. This afternoon, while skipping school, she found a box in her parent’s attic with her “grandma Betty’s” old clothes folded neatly inside. So, after a fun attic ceremony in front of a full length mirror covered in dust she has fashioned herself in a very nineteen twenties motif.

She had a funky cool black velvet hat with flowers and fake diamonds sewn into the top that featured a black lace veil flowing down over her left eye. The kind of hat a grieving widower in an old movie would wear to her lovers funeral; she wore a black shawl that tinted silver in certain light and at certain angles, it matched her modern silver tight pants.

“Wow, what a cool 1920’s motif.” Harold told V.

And V said to Harold “yes darling, all the cool girls smoke now and yuse boys jush better get a used to it”. She did her best Betty Boop impersonation and said “shoop boop be doop” and giggled. Harold, who also was marvelously dressed himself in an old tuxedo, which was actually an old usher uniform he found at the movie theatre but decked in charm and a little imagination it was a tuxedo of the finest caliber, took her by the arm and they began to stroll into the suburbs of Portland.

The streetlights flickered on above their heads and the summer light continued to evaporate from the air around them. The long summer days and cool summer nights were favorites to them both, they had both agreed years earlier as mere children. There was still plenty of light out; V pointed out on some other voyering journey it is the best time to go watching worlds because everyone is home and people are out side still, and maybe “we can meet people out in the streets.” She said to Harold offering the hopeful phrase that starts many a night of voyeuring. Harold loves her optimism and nodded and shrugged as they began walking arm in arm along the sidewalk.

“Look at all those needless things in that man’s garage.” Harold said to Vaude as he nodded toward an open garage at the top of a black tar paved driveway. “Unorganized, unused junk and clutter. And what a gut he had.” He said with a hearty laugh.

“He could be a real looker if he got some exercise,” V continued in her twenties dialect. “Maybe like cleaning out his garage. But there is football on the tube and cold beers in the fridge. I wonder what the wife thinks…” They paused stopping in their tracks, looked at each other and nodded in unison.

“Divorced!” They agreed together and laughed at their simultaneous insight.

“Ahh, that’s horrible.” Vaude said sighing contently.

“Why do people need so many things?” Harold asked seriously. “First of all, that guy probably doesn’t even use most of that stuff in his garage at all. Other stuff he probably uses just once a year at that. Then the other stuff that is usable could be shared with his neighbors so they could cut the price in two and both would have a lawn mower taking up less space, less metal, less gas, less cost.” Harold’s diatribe was in one breath. He breathed in a deep draw to show how his rant was in fact one breath.

“Very good Harold. I shall take it a step further if you don’t mind.” V said and paused.

“Oh, do go on.” Harold nodded.

“Thank you. Why, I may ask, must a man cut his grass in the first place? Oh, hear me out now. This is one of the reasons why I think this whole country is completely bonkers and steaming down the wrong track towards oblivion because of thoughtless imbedded cultural laws like having green front lawns. First, we water the grass with good drinking water. Some of us even mix chemical fertilizers to kill any food that might grow on the lawn, being the dandelions. These deadly chemicals end up in our drinking water and kill fish which we eat and drink which then will make us sick and KILL US, in order to make a lawn unusable to even play on.”

“Dandelions are edible?” Harold asked.

“You betchya; tastiest in the spring.” V stated matter of factly. “You can also make wine from them.” V nodded in satisfaction and continued. “So we spray water and chemicals, not to mention the processes to make the clean water and killing chemicals, to make the grass grow. Why do we make the grass grow, to feed animals? No. But only to chop the grass down with loud machines that require metal be hauled from the earth, oil be pumped from the ground, processed and mixed, which is a super dirty process let me tell ya, and finally burnt inside of a combustion engine and released as toxins into the air just to “mow the grass”. V made the bunny ear quotes symbol with both hands as she said the last words, shaking her head in disbelief. “I tell ya Harold, this country does not make much sense sometimes. We go through a lot of trouble to cause a lot of destruction and just write it off as business as usual. Is there any hope” V sighed overdramatically and both the young couple laughed.

“So everyone has one of everything,” Harold began, “it’s made to break so you will have to have another one real soon or a newer one even sooner. All of which are processed from diminishing finite resources.” Harold said in a tone mimicking a boring academic professor. “The math not only doesn’t add up but equals out to total destruction and chaos.” Harold looked at V with his eyes wide and when she caught his look he crossed his eyes at her. Vaude laughed and they kept walking.

“Look at this one. They must be inviting people to look into their lives. As if they are saying, look at us. We are perfect. Look through our three story front window into our dining room table for ten. Did you see us praying” Vuade’s anal retentive voice made Harold double over with laughter. “DID YOU!?!” She demanded anally. Harold spewed up laughter again. Vuade smiled. “Almost every house on this side of the street is in strobe.” (Strobe is Vaude’s nickname for having the television on because of what it looks like from the outside window, the TV’s flashing lights and colors look like strobe from the street on the other side of the blinds. Vaude gave it that moniker imagining the parents inside staring at a strobe with sunglasses on.) She said shaking her head and frowning. “It would be so nice if all those people would come outside and be out front so we could meet them. House after house, people after people out on their porches relating stories and sharing garden secretes, imagine, meeting your neighbors?” She gave the thought up with a shrug. “Huh.”

“Yeah, whatever happened to block parties? Harold jumped out in front of Vaude enthusiastically. “Shut down the street, bring out the neighbor’s shared barbeque grill, let the kids play together in the streets, have cocktails and conversations until the sun goes down. Then invite your neighbors over to the porch for after dinner coffee or drinks. Talk about the town. Talk about the street, the school, the government…”

“BOOO!” Vaude mimicked a booing crowd at the mention of government.

“Yeah! Yeah! You do better.” Harold said coming sidestep with V. They walked in sync with each other silently for a second.

“O.K.” Her eyes lit up and began. “So they are all inside watching the strobe. They have their favorite half hour laugh tracked TV show on and tomorrow at work they will ask each other, did you see this show or did you see that show? All across the country people are watching the same TV show with the same actors.” She said excitedly. “So how about this, each town having its own playhouse that plays that days or that weeks TV series but with local actors and actresses.” She waited a moment to see Harold’s response; his eyes though were busy scanning the windows of a house set off the road in the trees. “So you go to the theatre in town to watch your show that will have the same script in every city but with local actors and musicians, and real laughter! Think about it.” Vaude’s eyes looked up into the fading twilight dreamily.

“Yeah? What about the cartoon shows?” Harold asked.

“They can be done on a screen of course. The same for everyone then just like it is now.”

“What if a town doesn’t have the talent for actors to play the roles?” Harold asks.

“Yeah, probably the bigger towns would have the live shows. But, I suspect that every town would have the theatre and that the quality of acting would resemble the quality of acting that the town’s people prefer. Like the townies would understand their own actors anyway. I say if you can’t make it a play than ya shouldn’t have it.” Vaude finished, nodded and crossed her arms.

“HMPPH!” She hmpphed.

“Don’t be a stubborn mule, you old ass. I like your idea. But..”

“But!” V interrupted.

“But what of the TV shows that bring culture from another place to life. Like people watch the show “C.S.I.” Because they want to see a representation of the NYC way of life. They like shows set in NYC.” Harold shrugged.

“But it’s not the New York way of life on a TV set. It’s all made up.” Vaude almost started into a rant that would not end so she backed down. “Ah, fergedibodit!” She said in her best, but horrible, New York mobster impersonation.

My point exactly.” Harold said to Vaude’s failed New Yorker accent. “We know T.V. is fake..”

“TV is fake! TV is fake! Noooo!” V ran into the empty street waiving her arms in the air and running in circles erratically. “TV is fake!” She looked at Harold from the street and acted as if she was pulling her hair out. “You mean Dr. Melborne is not real?” She screamed at Harold.

“Not real.” He said calmly

“But where does he go at night?” She said acting like a little confused girl trying to figure out the truth about Santa Claus. “How does he make love if he’s not real? Who will be my doctor? What is my life if he is not real. High school is so cool.” Vaude calmed and joined Harold on the sidewalk silently.

“You’re ate up”. Harold said smiling.

“You eat it up.” V said back pushing Harold on the arm. Seriously, most people don’t realize TV is fake. I mean, they know it on the outside but subconsciously we expect life to live up to it. When what they are trying to live up to is a scenario that a professional writer perfected word for word the right conversation, a stylist styled the hair perfect, the light was perfect done by a professional lighting designer. The makeup hides any blemish on actors who are usually ten years more mature than the parts they are playing. It’s so perfect and we humans will never ever have it that perfect.” V said almost sadly.

“But it is perfect.” Harold said with a ray of hope.

“Oh God. Harold the Buddhist of Portland drops the truth.” V said sarcastically smiling kindly at her friend.

Harold took the chance to philosophize. “Art, in all of its imitation of a perfect scene can only mimic the essence of what makes up a perfect scene. And what makes up the perfect scene is all of the imperfections, if you will…”

“I will.” Vaude chimed in.

Harold nodded graciously and continued “…And all the things happening at once when something happens. For instance, two people fall in love and there is no moon and it’s raining, it’s not perfect but its perfect to them and they will cherish every detail about that first kiss and the moonless rainy darkness. A guy says a corny line to a girl but she takes him anyway and they will remember the corny line together living happily along with all the other details that Hollywood can only imitate. They have a hard time making it real, making the flaws of life so beautiful, real, and full because in the end they are just acting and the life they are imitating is not the life and death that the characters in the story are truly are facing.” Harold finished the last words squeezing them out with his last of breath. He took a quick breath and said “That is the beautiful art, the art that makes the seemingly mundane aspects of life and the flaws seem vivid, real, and of impeccable quality, worth remembering.” He finished softly and smiled.

“That was beautiful Harold, and all in one breath. How do you do that? I am sooo impressed.” Vaude smiled affectionately at her friend Harold and wrapped her arms around his arm and for the first time she felt his strong biceps. For the first time she noticed how her childhood friend suddenly has become an attractive and intelligent man. This shocked her. She smiled and thought to herself how lucky she is to have such a cool good friend.

“I am so lucky to have a cool and good friend in you Harold.” V said sincerely.

“Don’t you go sappy on me V. Girlfriend shit and all that, Ill kick your ass. I love you too but Ill kick your ass.” Harold joked and tickled his friend. He did love her but he was truly scared of becoming super intimate with her and not having a friend at all. They walked on. They talked on. But quickly moved from the topic of intimacy

They came up to a brown paneled house that was a bit smaller and older amongst the other mansion like structures in the neighborhood.

The pair stood facing the house and held hands bluntly and silent. Until Vaude chimed happily, “It is a fine house, a fixer upper that…well, still needs fixer upping.” She threw her free left arm in the air as if its wave would magically restore the loose shingles and missing panels.

“It’s too dark to see inside, there are lights on in there but I can’t see any of the details.” Harold said straining to ease his curiosity about the actual occupants this house.

“I wonder who lives here, Harold.” Vaude spoke for the both of them. “Can we buy it darling? It’s the finest house on the street.” Her impersonation was of a spoiled rich girl and made Harold laugh.

“That one is a real bomb, huh?” A women’s voice asked from behind them. “It brings the whole neighborhood price index down.” Another feminine voice softly stated.” Harold and Vaude were caught unawares to the nicely dressed couple who walked up to them on the sidewalk. Startled they turned to see two young girls, maybe in their twenties V thought, holding hands and smiling at them.

“That house should be raised. It brings the property value of the entire street down 15 percent.” The younger of the two girls said with a smile. Both women were smiling brightly, their eyes sparkling.

“I like this house.” Harold said standing tall looking up at the old dark house with mossy green moss covering the roof. “I think it’s the best house in the neighborhood.” He proudly held his chin up as if he was defending his own home’s honor.

“It does have a character that all of the other houses lack, a charm, and a mystery. I’m tempted to go up and see who is inside.” Vaude said defiantly to the two women as the four of them stood on the sidewalk in front of the dapen brown house.

“Probably squatters.” The younger of the two girls said. The two women laughed and the older women with black straight hair agreed “yeah, squatters, or witches!” The two women clutched each others arms in laughter. Harold and Vaude shared a questionable curled eyebrow sideways glance.

The girls stopped laughing and the apparent older of the two women introduced her self. “Bonjour, My name is Margie.” She had long straight black hair and dark deep set eyes. Her sharp pointed nose split her symmetrically breaking the wind before her skinny face. The younger girl said her name is Francine while she smiled at Harold.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” They all said at once sticking their hands out to shake hands making all four of them relax and laugh. Margie, with the long straight black hair looked to be in her late twenties. She had on a purple blouse with the longest string of pearls Vaude has ever seen wrapped many times like a choker around her neck and then looping way down to her waist several times.

“They are fakes, darling.” Margie said seeing Vaude entranced by her pearls.

Francine looked to be about 21 and was smiling brightly at Harold. Vaude liked her right away because she must have good taste if she liked Harold. “He did look great tonight in the tuxedo.” She thought.

Harold introduced himself and Vaude and said they were on a stroll in the neighborhood admiring houses.

“Seen any good action in any of the windows darling?” Margie said to Harold. Harold looked at Vaude and laughed.

‘Uh, no. Not tonight that is.” He truthfully hinted.

“You kids haven’t been peeping in our windows now have you?” Margie said arm in arm with the younger Francine.

“Seen any girl on girl love scenes for free from the street?” Francine asked giggling leaning into Margie’s shoulder. Her voice that of a beautiful soft child’s voice, sweet; but her smile exposed a cunning that hinted she was devilishly insightful with a sharp intellect behind the end of each tone.

This made Harold and Vaude blush slightly. “Nope, nothing good tonight but the modern American nightmare.” Vaude said looking to Harold.

“Nightmares!” Harold confirmed.

“That’s too bad. Usually this neighborhood is good for some action.” Francine said. The two girls huddled arm in arm as the night temperature continued to get cooler.

“We spotted you two a mile away.” Margie said sternly. “Voyeurs! You otta be ashamed of yourselves.” Margie said motherly. The two girls laughed and looked at each other. Harold and Vaude smiled queerly; shifting on their feet they didn’t get the joke.

“It’s how we spotted you kid’s. You look like us five years ago.” Harold and Vaude let out their breath. “You Like to look sharp and go out “admiring houses”. Sure.” Margie dragged out the last word nodding her head like “Suuuuurrrre.” Margie and Francine laughed together. Harold and Vaude joined in.

“Well, if you’re gonna get caught it might as well be by two sharp looking Voyeurs as yourselves.” Vaude said smiling. She giggled relieved.

“Busted.” Harold chimed

“Well, we don’t so much go out solely to watch the town any more. We now watch the town on our way to parties, dinner, or a movie. Like right now we are on our way to the Baghdad Theatre on Hawthorne to see the new mystery movie everyone is talking about.” Margie said looking to Francine who was looking at Harold and nodding quietly. “Have yuse guys heard anything about it?” Margie asked.

“No, it’s a mystery to us why it’s so hypped up. We have seen the bill boards promising THIS MOVIE WILL BLOW YOU AWAY!! A MUST SEE!! Kinda hyped up like the Blair Witch Project.” Harold said.

“Yeah, whoever the advertiser’s are on this flic are geniuses. They really know how to get society motivated.” Vaude said agreeing with Harold.

Margie, the oldest in the group explained in a diatribe of her own. “They have their thumb on the pulse of the country. They have seen the reactions to trailers for as long as movies have been advertised on TV and coming out. They know then that it’s time that not having a trailer at all would peek enough curiosity that the movie advertising will carry mostly via word of mouth and interest in an unknown mystery, with just a couple of billboards in every major city announcing it’s presence at all. Brilliant strategy!” Margie finished matter of factly.

“Is that a matter of fact?” Francine asked in her sweet voice.

“That’s a matter of fact. Margie quickly replied and nodded. “We are heading there right now. Would you two finely dressed young us’s like to go and check out this new mystery movie together?” Asked a cheerful Margie.

“Yeah, that’d be fun.” Harold said.

“Great.” Vaude agreed. Harold and Vaude smiled at each other took each others arms and walked behind the two girls who also had each other’s arms. The four of them walked in a square toward the movie theatre in the cool darkness under the looming pine trees that line the neighborhood street.

“So what’s the name of this movie anyway?” Vaude asked from the back of the pack.

In her sweet innocent voice Francine turned her head back and said over her shoulder “The New World Order”

“Sounds freaky.” Harold said. They all agreed.

They walked on admiring houses along the way. Margie explained some of the finer things about “finding action” and some of the crazy experiences she has had in her voyeuring career. “Like the time Icalled in a crook. I sat across the street and watched this guy climb in the window of some house. He didn’t look like he lived there so I called the police with my superhero cell phone to let the cops see if he lives there or not.” She said authoratively and proud. Vaude nodded learning a good rule of good Voyeuring, crime watch!
“We knew when liked you,” Francine said turning her head back again looking over her shoulder at Harold. “Not just because you are voyeurs and dress fabulously and are great and all, but you liked our house” she said softly.

“Cool!” Harold said.

“You guys live there!’ V said.

“Girls”

“You girls live there!” V said.

“Yeah, we got a great deal on the place and it has a huge back yard for our organic garden and cats.” Margie said.

“We are doing a lot of work on the place. Opening up the walls and the ceiling letting more light in.” Francine said proudly.

“We are renovators. We believe that a town should renovate what has already been built instead of building new houses. We are carpenters.” Margie said as they all walked slowly along the sidewalk. “Cross here.” Francine said and led Margie by the arm into the empty street.

“That is so cool.” Vaude said, Harold nodding in agreement.

“Renovate is such a cool word.” Francine said “Renovate, make old new again. Renew-vate . I love it.” She giggled.

“We are going to renovate the house you kids were “admiring” sell it and buy another rundown place in a “nice” neighborhood and renovate again there, and so on and so on.” Margie said.

“Its part ideology, part spirituality, part economics, and part politics all in one” Francine said smiling at her partner. “Also, we’re happy doing it. It’s fun.” They gave a quick kiss on the lips and kept walking arm in arm. Harold looked a Vaude and smiled.

They came around the corner onto the busy Hawthorne Street and ran smack into a line of people crowding the street from the buildings on the left to the curb of the street. Some people were even in between the parked cars and many more were crossing the street converging into the already long line stretching blocks to the theatre.

“Whoa, it looks like the mystery advertising really paid off.” Margie said as she stopped at the edge of the throng of people. “Is this the line to the Baghdad Theatre?” She asked a guy facing the other direction.

He turned around. “Yeah. Can you believe it? I think everyone in the country is coming out for this flic. This is unbelievable.” The man said excitedly. “I hear its only two bucks too, half off for opening night.” He said turning back to face the line.

“Sheyeah, I’ve never seen this many people come out for a movie anywhere.” Harold said looking over the top of the crowd of heads packing the sidewalk”. “What the… I’m going to go see what’s up with all this. You guys, I’m sorry, you girls, hold our spot. C’mon Vaude.” V and Harold mingled off into the mix leaving Francine and Marge in the back of the line smiling and holding on to each other watching the younger kids disappear into the throng of movie goers.

“I’ve got a weird feeling about all this.” Francine said to a nodding Margie as they both looked with anxiously at the throngs of people of all ages jamming the streets. To Francine everyone looked like ants in a line with programmed DNA lining up to chemical smells.

“It looks like were being controlled here Marge. Like someone is leading lemons over the cliff.” She said suspiciously to Margie.

“Yeah, but when was the last time we had a real good thrill? This is creepy and great!” Margie’s enthusiasm turned Francine’s anxiety into laughter and she rode out her eeriness in bone chilling excitement.

The line hadn’t moved an inch until the moment Harold and Vaude returned announcing the doors are opening now. The people spread out all over the block gathered back in to a thick line and began facing the expecting doors still blocks up the street.

“Everyone is playing the mystery card.” Vaude told the other girls. “They have seen the billboards, the ones that promised that this movie will be mind blowing and numbing.” “Unlike any movie you have ever seen before.” The same ones we all have seen. It’s like there is a deep seeded interest in mystery and once word got out that people were intrigued by the advertising it caught and spread like wildfire. You know how the saying goes; one person is a theory, two people are proof and three people are a religion”. Vaude looked at Harold knowing he would like the quote. But it was Margie who spoke first.

“I love that quote, is that Vonnegut?” She said

“Jr.” Vaude added. “It’s something like that.”

“Well, the mystery movie it is!” Margie said. “All the other movies out right now blow and suck. This is realistically the only movie to see right now even if you wanted to see a different one.”

“I’m lucky I even have enough cash to even see a movie.” Harold ranted. “I don’t drink, smoke, and looking in other peoples houses is what I do for fun. I wear clothes I find and I still don’t have money after I pay for house, electric and food.”

“You eat too much.” Vaude joked patting his nowhere belly.

“AHH Damnn, she didn’t.” Margie joked. Francine and Vaude laughed at Harold as he jokingly asked the people in line to spare a quarter for food, only to be told to get a job by both unwilling participates of the joke. The girls laughed at him and joked as they waddled forward in line heading for the ticket booth.

No popcorn no pop the girls sat in the center of the front row. Behind them sat a packed theatre cozy in their padded seats and ready to be entertained. Many ate popcorn and sucked on giant pools of sugar water.

The movie began. The theatre was silent in unprepared expectations. On the giant screen the digital lights and surround sound came alive and lit the people’s eyes and vibrated their bodies with the Dolby Bass and bright white screen.

“I love that.” Margie said to the other three.

“SHHHHH!” The theatre said to Margie.

The previews for other movies ended. The words “And now for the feature presentation” came onto the screen. Music that seemingly emanated from all four walls, the floor and the ceiling was a song that no one in the audience has ever heard of before, but everybody liked immediately. It had a jingle to it that went straight through the cranium and sat in there for good. The rhythms made you want to get up and dance. Some of the movie goers did. Margie, Francine, Vaude and Harold danced sitting in their seats. Several musicians in the audience tried to place the instruments they were hearing but could not. Finally deciding the sounds must be computer generated or wavelength altered new sounds. On the giant screen, in fabulously intricate and in a very appealing font, scrolled the lettering announcing the stars of the film. The first listed star majoring in this production was one of society’s most popular actors. The crowd “ehhwwed” in unison, nodding their heads and smiling at the bright screen lighting their childlike faces watched with bright eyes. Then the screen announced in great lettering accompanied by the wonderful music (many people still doing little jigs in their seats) that it’s starring the people’s favorite female actor. The people “ehhwwwed” again, their eyes were glowing in anticipation. Next, in the fabulous font and cheerful color it was announced that another favorite actor will be in the production. The people cheered. Then, one after another the lettering spelled out that almost every major actor in the U.S.A. is in this production. A picture of fabulous cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean in California was projected onto the screen. The view turned so the crowd was looking out toward the ocean’s horizon and the letters continued to spell out who was all in the production layered over the magnificent vista. Major business magnates from old and new were to make special appearances. Major financiers of the railroad, coal, electricity, and major lending houses were listed as starring in the film. Modern computer magnates were listed and major property owning companies had back up roles. When it was announced that the people’s favorite sound man was going to do the sound the entire theatre erupted into a standing cheer and began to nod and smile at each other. Then every major producer in NYC was announced to have a part of the movie. Some people laughed and began to think this is all a joke. British humor they mused.

“What a gaff.” They said to each other. Others cheered thinking they were in for Hollywood’s greatest most elaborate movie ever. They were not wrong.

The lights from the outdoor scene lit the faces of the theatre goers with a light that warmed their bodies like the screen radiated billions of tiny suns instead of pixels. The beautifully crisp and clear image looked as if it truly existed, the aroma of the ocean could be smelled and the salty breeze could be felt on the face, instead of a wall and screen. The audience in their seats felt suspended over the expanse of the Pacific Ocean. Vaude could see a man at the horizon miles back were the straight line of the blue water met the blue sky. He quickly made time as if he was flying forward across the surface of the water. He appeared to be walking on the water but moving very quickly. As he approached the audience his speed slowed to a walk and he seemed to be walking on the surface of the calm blue Pacific Ocean . His appearance could now be seen to the delight of everyone. He was beautiful and fabulously dressed wearing a black three piece Italian suit that itself seemed to be alive; mimicking and predicting his movements as he strolled leisurely toward the audience suspended in front of him. He had jet black curly hair and a large fat pointy nose that seemed to come in line with his other large features. His calm demeanor and casual gate made him look mature in a young professional body. Below the silks of his suit it was clear that he was chisled to the muscle, his stood straight but relaxed with his large hands at his side.

Some of the women in the audience, and some men also, said

“Ahhh” and goggled at the handsome character on the screen.

“Do you know me?” He said. His deep voice monotonous voice calmly asked with a New York gang land accent. “Do you know me?” He repeated. “No! No you don’t know me, but guess what. I know you!” His eyes looked directly into every set of eyes in the theatre at once. The crowd went silent. The effect he had on the crowd was stunning. The crowd hushed in a new anxiety like they didn’t know what they were in for realising then that they truly did not know whatkind of flic they had all came out to see. They were all a little creped out by this beautiful and unknown actor because the truth was no one did know who he was. Whispers spread through the theatre.

“Who is he?”

“I don’t know, never seen him before in my life.”

“Listen.”

“Watch.”

“Well I hope you like tonight’s movie. It has been a long time in the planning and development and it premier has been the work of millions of people.” He said this seriously ensuring that it was interpreted literally. “It is truly like nothing you have ever seen before.” He slowly strolled toward the audience getting closer and closer like he was going to walk right through the screen into the theatre but stopped just short. The audience was on edge. Harold and Vaude were happy that they were sitting in the front row and quickly smiled in excitement toward each other. Harold took Vaude’s hand. She held his hand back and he gulped nervously.

“Does any of yuse know what ethnicity I am? The man asked from behind an invisible screen.

“C’mon. Does the cat have your tongue? Take a Guess!” He urged the crowd with an am.

A sole teenage boy yelled out from the back of the packed theatre laughing,

“You’re a New Yorker!” The crowd laughed, called the kid stupid and hushed itself.

“No my young idiot. I’m not a New Yorker.” When the man projected on the screen responded to the audience the audience erupted in awe, and wonder. They looked over their shoulders to the projection room as if they were to see a Greek god in there in front of a camera holding a microphone. The movie theatre fell silent.

“It’s technology folks. It’s unlike anything any of yuse eva seen before. Like myself. Good guess though kid cause I am speaking in a native dialect of your so called country.” The dark man on the screen pointed directly at the boy and nodded directly to him as he spoke. The boy slouched down in his seat embarrassed and timid.

“Any other stupid guesses?” The man on the screen asked amicably with a smile exposing sharp white teeth accentuated by his olive tanned skin.

This time he spoke in a southern draw and without missing a syllable his clothes changed from the black bow tie to southern cowboy attire complete with spurs, white button down collard shirt and a ten gallon cowboy hat.

“Any one? No, I am not Italian but close. No I am not necessarily Greek, but close. Anyway enough of this game.” As he spoke his clothes continued to change. He attire changed with every word making him look like every culture in the world for a period short period at a time. He went from wearing a sarong, into a turban, leather pants, naked, a white robe and Muslim hijab, to shorts and a t-shirt and then he stayed in a toga for a while. When in the toga his nationality was strikingly clear and was obvious that he must have been a direct descendant from the emperor of Rome himself. He looked like a modern day Nero.

“Enough of this game; I am but a messenger sent to bring you all a message from the rulers of our fair empire. You are no longer human beings. You are no longer a free and democratic society. You are now and have been for some time enslaved to the great Empire of Rome.” The man on the screen did not flinch and sternly said the final sentence as he wore a brown robe with a white rope of Franciscan Brother. The audience in the crowd remained silent, stunned. They waited for a punch line. But there was no punch line. He continued with further instructions.

“We plan to do nothing, to change nothing for now. Nothing in your lives will change for now. The name of your country is not to change. Your houses and personal properties will remain your houses and your situations will remain your situation. Your investments are still your investments and your debts are still your debts and must be paid in full plus interest.” The unknown character on the screen took a moment staring plainly and straight faced into everyone in the theatres eyes at once.

The Pacific Ocean scene disappeared and the dark haired man was now on walking into the oval office of the president of the United States and shaking hands with the president. The two men turned and looked directly into the camera.

Now the President, who was now dressed in the fabulous black silk attire of the Roman, spoke into the camera. “Well folks, uh, it’s true what the man says. We have uh, not protected our back doors, ya know, uh, sealed down the hatches, uh, well they took us when our backs were turned ya know. We didn’t know they were around. Thought they, uh, were gone, ya know.” The president continued to babble in this manner as the dark haired man looked at him perplexed. The president only stopped his utterances when the messenger began talking again. The messenger shook his head slightly at the conquered nation’s chief’s level of ignorance exposed at this historical time.

“Listen to your leader.” The Roman spoke from the Oval office once again in the sharp three piece silk suit. “He speaks the truth and knows that we, The Republic of Rome, now own all of your institutions, business’, corporations, land, ports, waterways, banks, retirement accounts, factories, hospitals, resources, and even your military and most of your intellectual property is under our ownership. You and your fellow Americans also owe The Empire roughly a hundred thousand dollars apiece.

The audience, whom was by now in full belief of the convincing characters on the screen, winced but remained calm and watched; They were under the Romans convincing spell.

“Do not fret, for this we will not expect most of you to be able to come up with that kind of cash right away and it will come out of a tax plan that will closely resemble your existing tax code for a while.” The dark haired Roman said exiting the oval office leaving the president inside just barely seen through the open doorway. It was the last time any one ever saw the man. The unknown dark Roman walked to his right and entered an office were he stood in front of a panel of windows high above New York City. He was joined by eleven other spectacular Romans dressed in the matching Italian tailored silk business suits. A gorgeous young Roman woman stepped forward to speak. Her clothes, like all of the Roman’s clothes, were of silk linen that smoothly flowed in unison with her steps. The colors changed in the light, like soft screens veiled and layered over themselves sometimes catching a golden surface of woven threads over the black silk of the suits. The pants made of the same material simply disappeared in neatly hidden folds that inwardly creased as if they could predict her movements when the women stepped forward toward the audience. Her curled black hair gently circled to the nape of her neck. It was suddenly obvious to the audience that the wall of the screen has disappeared and that the woman is going to walk right into the theatre.

Smiles appeared on the faces of the men and women standing grouped along the tower’s windows. They snickered as they imagine what the young American mind’s must be going through witnessing the technologies that that could have been attained if they put their minds toward art and creation instead of power, deception and destruction. They could have but they didn’t, the Roman’s thought, so that warranted the slight smirk that disappeared quickly from their professional faces. The women kept her smile and pose standing in front of the group. One more step forward and she would be in Harold’s lap. Her silken linens stood up by themselves in the shape of a perfect human. Underneath her silken power suit it was clear that she too had a straight frame and solid figure. Her posture and pause plainly stating her true message, she stood waiting, letting her beautiful body speak as to the true meaning of her message. The audience sat hypnotized and mesmerized by her stunning features. Finally she spoke with a voice of a goddess.

“We took over your country last year.” She said with a smile. “We did not employ violence, nor by force. We did not use guns and bullets or by bloody invasion. We are an ancient society that has seen the purposelessness of those bloody relentless outcomes. The undesired after effect of the will and the nature of conquered people spin the achievement of conquered lands into a circle of violence that we do not want for you and your fellow Americans. Her sympathetic smile was assuring and genuine.

She stood for a moment smiling in silence letting her smile sooth the audience before she backed into the group standing in front of the windows, she did not turn around but remained facing the audience and smiling the whole time. She took a spot in front of the group. Another Roman man stepped forward in synch and planning like a church ceremony he came right out, opened up his arms and began.

“We started the capitalistic idea.” He said reminding the audience to the nature of their countries young age. “We have been around a very long, long time and have seen the outcome of many societies just like your very young one here.” The beautiful Roman man stepped back.

Another beautiful young silk suited man stepped forward and spoke in deep baritone. “We have not had to use force. We simply played your own capitalistic system against you and bought you out. There is No Win in war.” He paused and took a breath like a man who has been preparing for this show for a long time and who now is tired and bent on the idea of the show running perfectly. His pause was of the corporate officer put in charge of the important merger who is tired of the hours spent in endless preparation for everything to come in line just right. He was moving up the corporate ladder and entrusted of the great merger. He was moving up the ranks quickly. He did not take his glasses off, or even sweat. He continued confident and smiled nice.

“We have learned and developed many tricks of all the trades in all the times.” At this all seven laughed at some inside pun. “You can see how we mean peace and harmony for you as we have not used force and violence in our takeover. We employed strategic purchases and investments grow over time involving buying and purchasing, selling, and buying more. Strategic partnerships and financing, advertising and mainly by studying the capitalistic way of life over thousands of years we have been able to determine how to gain control of lands and people without hostilities, violence, and unwanted force which never truly wins the people of conquered nations over. Thus we have been able to spread our great Empire to the new land. We have hid ourselves from your banks that began using OUR own investment capital. We watched our investments grow in you and we reaped the returns as your country grew. We can only grow richer and more powerful as you grow rich and powerful. Your own investments become our old selves. We watched our young nation given free will to manage itself from afar, but a lot closer than you think. We will always be older than you and exponentially more powerful. Rome has always owned the new land in a history that would be unbelievable to any one even if we showed you our past; how we invested and diversified into other European countries. Rome never fell, Egypt never fell, but merely faked our own demise to have an invisible hand in things while our people prospered under many nations, names, and nationalities.

We were happy allowing you to manage your country and our wealth and things were going relatively smoothly until recently. You’re country has fallen into the same traps many young countries do and has gone too far in the capitalistic ideal of ownership. You have not been paying your dues to the world. You have not contributed to the spirit of life but have become a destructive force of corruption. The inherent greed that accompanies profit and capitalistic growth has not been balanced properly. We have seen this happen many times before. Countries and people get to oblivious to the plight of humanity on Earth, too engulfed in growth only to collapse on them. Then a style of war ensues and take overs form from the many inaccuracies of human judgment that you are finding yourselves in right now in Iraq, Afghanistan, and around the world. You’re nations greed has become predictable. Your predictability in your greed and want of profit above anything else has been used against your selves and we played you at your own game. You tried to take the free market too far. We are simply far superior at your game than you are. As well we should be considering we are the mathematicians who invented the system in the first place.”

The audience was completely silent enraptured and trying to make sense of what they were hearing. The seven Romans standing in front of the window smiled in silence back at the shocked audience. There was a long silence. Harold and the girls squirmed in their seats enjoying the creep factor and loving every minute of it. A lowly voice from the audience dared to ask softly out loud.

“What…what now?” His voice was timid and ashamed like sinners in the presence of God. No one in the audience ridiculed the lone man. They all believed what they were being told and were grateful he asked what they all felt.

A Roman woman stepped forward from the standing seven and spoke. “Go about your business, but know now that you no longer own yourselves. You are now under the rule of thee ancient Empire of Rome and you are our slaves. This is not a joke, a movie, or a premise. We understand you probably think this is fiction. We know that a movie is one of the only ways to get through to you now. You have all become so detached and have ignored your feelings and emotion for so long you have become numb and dumb. You are at a loss for proper human direction with to much chaos in your heads to make any sense of your emotions. We have seen this also many times before. And now we see this is what has happened to your country. We had to utilize the form of a movie to bring this reality to you now. A movie of flashing particles of light, of all colors and intervals in full surround sound (this latest message coming real loud flooding the theatre goers with sound that some in the audience would later attest too being the best surround sound they had ever heard) is the only way to break through the mush your minds and hearts have become. That is all. Go about your day. Trust us to be a benevolent people. For we have killed no one in taking over your entire government and population. We are stopping you from killing yourselves and everyone else as a mother keeps a child from sticking their fingers in an electric outlet. Pardon the pun. There will be changes over time but we will spread them out to correct the misdirection your society has inflicted upon the world. We will be correcting your mistakes slowly and in time. Please consider this nothing more than a change of management.”

She stood smiling sincerely and comfortingly and the screened moved through her body then through the bodies of the group behind her and out the window. For a half of an hour the movie flew the audience in amazing detail and Surround Sound and smell over the entire planet witnessing in real time the people they share the world with.

The movie ended with another brilliantly composed and produced piece that almost hypnotized the audience into being extremely open to suggestion. The screen went black and the theatre lights came on. The audience was in shock. They mechanically and silently exited the theatre to the street outside.

When Harold and Vaude, Margie and Francine exited out of the glass fog doors of the theatre onto the Portland street the crowd of movie goers had lightened extremely; they entered a buzzing crowd of movie goers. The crowd is excited and talking to each other fast and amazed. Some people are smoking. The people were smiling and laughing talking of proper social direction and the phrases “good riddance” and “guidance” is heard through the crowd. Harold distinctly hears a reference to “The War of the Worlds” and he laughs shaking his head.

The girls and Harold looked at each other silently; then burst into laughter. They shrugged and laughed together at how quickly the Americans can seem so unfazed from what only moments ago held them all spell bound. They walked through the crowd in a line of four disappearing into the mix of the crowd. The general conversation of the town’s people talking about a new reality and what they were doing later mingled in the smoke rising above their heads. The crowd wore amusing smiles and laughed.

“Call me!” A girl said.

“Yeah! A party? I’m game. Let’s go!” Some guy said.

“Eat. Yeah I’m hungry. Then we can pick up a bottle of wine and go back to my place.” A man’s voice could be heard.

Harold and Vaude disappeared through the crowd of people astonished but not surprised by the quick acceptance of the new reality. The four voyeurs split the scene as fast as they could.

The next day Harold and Vaude woke with a slight hangover. The stock market took a slight dip but recovered late in the afternoon and even closed a few points up. Word of the movie spread like wildfire and anyone who did not see it immediately went out and saw it themselves. The people in the movie were so convincing that everyone believed, as it is true, they were now under the orders of the ancient Empire of Rome. Several key politicians disappeared, several generals too, and were never heard from again, but no one noticed.

Generally, most people just thought, “That was really good surround sound. Was that Dolby?”

THE END

Mark Stegman Nov 20^th 2007 Montreal, Quebec.